You know, being strong is a great thing!!! It really is.
But... you have to be careful that you don't hurt yourself and your loved ones in the process!!!
I just realized this... 29 days into this new process of "being strong" and "being okay" and "having all the answers" and "being the only one who can do it right."
So I came home from the hospital last night after spending some quality skin to skin time with Macy while watching one of my favorite feel good movies - The Sound of Music (and LOVING it I might add!) So I came home and said, I'm not going to the hospital tomorrow (while stairing blankly into space). My husband asked why... "I just need a break", I said. "I need to trust them to take care of her and have a day to just feel NORMAL!" **NOTE - I wouldn't do this if she wasn't doing okay, but she is. Yes she has a NG tube back in and sometimes takes part of her milk that way... but she is okay! I call the hospital every 6 hrs to check! Barry is going up to see her tonight!
So I have spend my day cleaning the house, laughing at my all-too-funny-huge-personality-adorable-daughter! and watching my ultra sensitive-testing his ground-best buddy-first born son have fun running in and out of the house playing with friends and being a kid!
It has been really good for me! I love my angels - all three of them! I love my husband too, who is being really helpful lately! I can't wait to have Macy home so we can have more of this NORMAL heaven I am enjoying today! Till then, we continue to do our best!!!
oh, and I am making dinner tonight... I'm so excited... I haven't done this in about a month!
Crispy lemon chicken
Salad with pecans, crasins, cheese, peppers and homemade honey mustard dressing
Roasted beets
Herb rolls
We'll top off the night with a movie of the kids choice and rootbeer and a big bowl of popcorn - extra butter!!
7 comments:
Oh I loved this post. You need more normal days in your life right now. Your dinner and family movie night both sound so great! It's hard to not be up at the hospital every minute but she has the best care up there and your family needs you home too. Have fun tonight! And you might need to post recipes of your yummy dinner, too.
Can I come over??? Sounds like an amazing dinner and movie night! Good for you for taking a break.
I'm so happy to hear this!! I can't imagine what your life is like right now. I did my internship for my undergrad at the children's hospital and I was constantly watching parents come and go, cry and breakdown, appear stronger than I could ever be, bring their other children, and calling in when they couldn't be there to check on their little ones. I was in total awe of how they managed their life everyday. You are an incredible mother and wife and you deserve a normal night with your family at home. Like you said, Macy will be safe and well cared for. Enjoy the night, love those kiddos and enjoy that popcorn!! Now I'm craving it :-) Always, thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and all your kiddos!!
enjoy ... or I guess it is late enough I can say, hope you enjoyed your day.
has it really been 29 days??? wow, that is crazy. You are definately due to have a "normal" day...
Good for you. It's hard not to be there, though. I bet your other kids loved every second of you being home with them!!
This is my first visit to your post. Congratulation on your beautiful baby girl! I'll be praying for a complete healing so she can come home soon!
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