Pressure of blogging

I was contacted recently by someone who had heard my blog was so inspiring. I had to laugh! She asked me if I would teach a class on blogging. Feeling very inadequate, I said no thanks. I did tell her I could teach other things, like overcoming trials, unconditional love, seeing the beauty in adversity, or anywhere along those lines. Another reason why I felt so inadequate is that I am literally surrounded by amazing, inspiring and awesome women; most of whom live normal lives, raise typical children and those are the women I look up to! I'm lucky! I have more than a handful of women in my life that I consider great friends! Most of these women share my beliefs and are inspiring just in the way they delicately raise their children, keep a happy home and go about doing small acts of service! Therefore, I have more to learn than to teach, believe me! But it made me think about why blogging can be such a struggle. First there are many different types of bloggers. Those who use it as a family journal, those who teach or share information, those who reach out and inspire and many more. Part if my problem is I never really figured out what kind of blogger I wanted to be. Journaling for my family is a great idea, but not interesting to other readers(do I care about that or not?), than it's nice when you get a lot of attention for being inspiring, funny etc. But keepig that up is tough and makes me feel fake at times... Trying to say the perfect thing even if I was feeling otherwise. It's tough too, to keep up with a cyber world, when the real world around me needs me more and that is where it really matters. So I am stuck in this spot, where I just don't know. There are some blogs I have followed in the past that now seem fake, like the writer is just trying too hard to seem perfect, gain readers etc. It's nauseating! Then there are some that I still look at from time to time and find them refreshing! Honest! With struggles, joys, and truth. Most of us don't want to read about someone's perfect life (that just makes us feel less adequate). But we also don't want to hear constant complaining, who does right! Finding that balance is tough for me and something that I continue to think about and work on. I also go back and forth between whether to make this a blog for myself, closest friends and family and go private? Do I keep it public and only appeal to friends who really know me and care about what goes on in my life day to day? Or do I try to appeal to a larger crowd and talk about deeper things and be an advocate for Down Syndrome? It can all be very confusing and I tend to go back and forth. Some days just thinking about doing any of them is exhausting :) I do hope to gain the ability to share my thoughts every so often in a way that will check off all the things on my list. Journaling my life, being inspiring, being truthful and not changing who I am. Until then...

Some joy in the mundane!

My poor neglected blog... I don't actually feel to bad about it! If you know me, you know winter is NOT my season! I wish I was that person to get out and enjoy every season, but lets face it... I was meant to be plopped on a sunny beach somewhere; clear turquoise waters and warm balmy air! When asked recently what my dream job would be, if nothing else stood in the way, I said, "To run a tropical surf/scuba/adventure shop on the beach in some tropical location with as little commercialism as possible!

I write this as I stare at the grey sky out the window... blah!

Well, lucky for me, I will soon be rescued from this mundane weather. For the first time ever I will be going away on my anniversary! Yes, at the coaxing of my in laws. They obviously love me and know that my husband works ALL THE TIME! Well, they talked him into booking us a cruise to the eastern Caribbean! I absolutely love cruising... best way to see the world in my opinion! We will be going on Royal Caribbeans Allure of the Seas - the largest cruise ship in the world holding 5,400 passengers. Which is about double any other ship. So in 3.5 weeks I will be enjoy 10 whole days with my husband, alone! In a tropical location. It is safe to say I am in heaven!

I will say though, we have had some great times this winter. Namely birthdays. We all have our birthdays in the winter (Dec, Jan, Feb, March) The last being Tommy's! I can't believe he is 10!!

With every passing year I become more and more afraid of the teen years and the choices he will make, but Barry always reminds me of what a great kid he is now and why will that change? It is so true.

Tommy is a gem! So sweet, makes good choices and tries really hard to be a great friend and brother! I couldn't ask for a better kid! I would say his life is a bit more stressful that a lot of kids with him traveling back and forth to Texas to visit his dad. But I will tell ya, the kid always leaves with a smile and returns with a smile! I think he is starting to see the benefits of it in his life. 2 Christmas's, 2 birthdays, Vacations to Texas multiple times a year as well as the fact that he LOVES to tell people how independent he is because he flies alone so much.

For his birthday he got a really great basketball hoop and as of this very moment he is out there with his best bud, shooting hoops! Lets say he is in love with it! Though, he is an easy kid to please! Happy Birthday Tommy. We love you so much!!!

This little girl can take me through the largest scale of emotions! More than my other children. I find at times that the things she says and does are beyond adorable. She is very smart and makes me feel really proud! She is so petite that everything she does seems that much more amazing! But, this child can also take me to the limits of my breaking point! She is strong willed, determined, and demands my attention NOW! 

In the long run this will be a great thing for her! I hope she grows up with strong convictions, a good self esteem and with clear direction of what she wants and where she is going in life. But for now, it causes me to take multiple time outs for myself every day!

We celebrated Kyla's 4th birthday this last month. I am continually shocked at how big my kids are getting. She is old enough to start kindergarten this year. Though, we will keep her back a year and let her enjoy preschool.   Her interests right now are crafts, crafts, crafts and oh, did I mention crafts? She will sit for hours and work on projects or beg me to print off work sheets for her. I bought her some workbooks on letters and numbers about a week ago, well she has just about finished them both! 

She's the sweetest sister to Macy and loves to dance around with Tommy and his little crew. Her smile is just about the cutest thing and she has daddy wrapped around her finger... literally!

We love you Kyla!!