Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pressure of blogging

I was contacted recently by someone who had heard my blog was so inspiring. I had to laugh! She asked me if I would teach a class on blogging. Feeling very inadequate, I said no thanks. I did tell her I could teach other things, like overcoming trials, unconditional love, seeing the beauty in adversity, or anywhere along those lines. Another reason why I felt so inadequate is that I am literally surrounded by amazing, inspiring and awesome women; most of whom live normal lives, raise typical children and those are the women I look up to! I'm lucky! I have more than a handful of women in my life that I consider great friends! Most of these women share my beliefs and are inspiring just in the way they delicately raise their children, keep a happy home and go about doing small acts of service! Therefore, I have more to learn than to teach, believe me! But it made me think about why blogging can be such a struggle. First there are many different types of bloggers. Those who use it as a family journal, those who teach or share information, those who reach out and inspire and many more. Part if my problem is I never really figured out what kind of blogger I wanted to be. Journaling for my family is a great idea, but not interesting to other readers(do I care about that or not?), than it's nice when you get a lot of attention for being inspiring, funny etc. But keepig that up is tough and makes me feel fake at times... Trying to say the perfect thing even if I was feeling otherwise. It's tough too, to keep up with a cyber world, when the real world around me needs me more and that is where it really matters. So I am stuck in this spot, where I just don't know. There are some blogs I have followed in the past that now seem fake, like the writer is just trying too hard to seem perfect, gain readers etc. It's nauseating! Then there are some that I still look at from time to time and find them refreshing! Honest! With struggles, joys, and truth. Most of us don't want to read about someone's perfect life (that just makes us feel less adequate). But we also don't want to hear constant complaining, who does right! Finding that balance is tough for me and something that I continue to think about and work on. I also go back and forth between whether to make this a blog for myself, closest friends and family and go private? Do I keep it public and only appeal to friends who really know me and care about what goes on in my life day to day? Or do I try to appeal to a larger crowd and talk about deeper things and be an advocate for Down Syndrome? It can all be very confusing and I tend to go back and forth. Some days just thinking about doing any of them is exhausting :) I do hope to gain the ability to share my thoughts every so often in a way that will check off all the things on my list. Journaling my life, being inspiring, being truthful and not changing who I am. Until then...

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