Self Sacrificing...

In a delicious kind of way!!!

Just browsing for a GREAT recipes for a baking party I am going to this week.

Can you say weight watchers cheat night???

I CAN!

Haven't decided what to make yet... but look at these delicious treat!

These all come courtesy of the picky palate - click on the photo for the recipe!

Fluffernutter cookies

PB&J Shortbread Cookies

Smore Stuffed Brownies

and I can't forget these little babies that I will be making some time in the summer when I have hit my goal weight!

Roasted banana Cinnamon Rolls

Am I killin you yet...Or am I just killin myself?

Just because it's been so long!

I think this has been the longest I have gone without posting! A number of things could be to blame
-Bloggers block
-Weight Watchers = crazy lady who tries to stay busy so I don't think about FOOD!!
- Tommy's Baptism and Macy's Blessing, which I know I should be blogging about and feel like it was all so special that I don't know how to do it justice!

Anyway... We are in Edmonton. I have lived in Canada for about 4 years now and have just now been here for the first time.
Me and the kids spend Friday at the West Edmonton Mall. (Dad was at a golf tournament).

Tommy jumped on the High Jump Trampolines, we played mini golf, saw a Sea lion show and touched some sting rays. We watched some cute older couples ice skating and had Tommy's favorite lunch - SUBWAY!

Today we went to the water park at the mall and Tommy went down every single slide. He is such a daredevil! Barry wouldn't even go one the "Toilet bowl flusher" one (my own name for it) or the Straight Drop one... but Tommy did, multiple times! He`s so cool!

We head home tomorrow, which I am very excited about! It is SO hard to watch what you eat on vacation! Everyone ate Pizza tonight while I made myself a chicken stir-fry. And I wont even start talking about the Caramel-Chocolate covered apple Barry bought Tommy after we swam or the Cinnabon that they ate in front of me, too!

PLEASE EXTRA 15 LBS... LEAVE MY BODY SO I CAN EAT WHAT I WANT!

Push

As I forced myself past the painful surge of lactic acid this morning in spin, with a strong urge to just get off the bike and walk out... the teacher said,

"We all fall down, it is how we pick ourselves back up that matters!"

I pushed and I finished!

It's a thought to live by :)

Some truths...

Trisome 21 Down Syndrome-

-is caused by an extra 21st chromosome in every cell of the body. Most would have two. They have three.
-is NOT caused by something the mother did or didn't do while pregnant.
-happens (by chance) in 1 of every 800 births.
-The risk goes up with age and if you have already had one child with Down Syndrome.
-But, there are still more moms in the 20's with Down Syndrome children... because most moms have kids when they are in there 20's.
-These childrens can live highly normal lives. They can get married, have kids, jobs etc...

Any other questions?? I'm curious to know what questions people have.

I'm not gonna let it...

I'm not gonna let it...Get me down!

Yes, Macy is back in the hospital

Yes, We miss her and fear that she feels abandoned

Yes, We worry that she wont come home soon or that this will happen again

Yes, it sucks!

Yes, I hate it!

But... I am tired and don't have any more room for sadness!

Tomorrow is Mothers Day.

I have a fabulous mom

I have a sweet mother-in-law

and I want to be the best mom ever.

So lets celebrate!

To moms who LOVE their kids with an extra chromosome or not.

To moms who bend over backwards for their kids!

To moms all over the world who are trying to do the right thing, hard or not!

I toast (with sparkling apple cider) to you!!!

My box was nice... can I get back in please!!!

My lonely little, quiet, environment controlled box sounds pretty nice right now.

Can I climb back in?

Maybe I am just having a bad dream!

Macy started throwing up yesterday while feeding.

Than she had no poops and her tummy got big again.

Today we took her the Emerg at the childrens hospital this morning

And she has again been admitted, she is on Unit 4 :(

I am so sad and heartbroken.

My sweet girl so far from home again!

I have to again find a way to balance my time with the kids.

This has got to be the WORST timing!

Mothers Day

My mom, dad and aunt coming next week to play.

and Tommy's Baptism next Saturday.

I am crossing my fingers that she comes home within a few days!

PLEASE CROSS YOUR FINGERS WITH ME!!

We'll be a big group of people... crossing our fingers... together... for MACY!

Stuck in a box...

Do any of you feel like you live in a Box and you rarely come out to see what else is going on?

That is how I feel since Macy was born.

I'm in my box,

it's safe in my box

When I stay in my box I can save money

I can control more of my surroundings in my box

But... it's also lonely in this box, Happy, but lonely.

Yet this is where I stay.

Maybe because of the bad weather, maybe because of a tight budget, maybe because I don't feel like getting dressed up until I feel better about my body.

Probably all three, and a few more things :)

So here I sit... in my box. With a soft blanket. and a bottled water.

Sometimes holding a baby

Sometimes playing dolls with Kyla

Sometimes reading a book

Sometimes playing a game with Tommy

Lots of time folding laundry, pumping, feeding, teaching and meal planning.

Can't wait to break out of this box... but I think to do that, the stars need to align!

Or maybe we all just need a little sand and sun to give us that extra little PUSH to climb out of our boxes!

Surprise!

After weeks of warm weather... some days in the 70's F.
We got dumped on! Ugh...

I hate it... but the kids made the best of it and...

they are still smiling!

With Drawls

Guess what we have started taking away?

It's been going on for a little more than a week.

She says, "give it back, momma! Pees"

Any clues?

Well, we decided it was time that she only have her Paci and bottle at bedtime or nap time.

Sometimes when I give her milk in a cup now... she throws it! And yesterday, after putting her paci in her crib, she went back and got it out without my knowing. Well, she dropped it on the floor downstairs and Zoe ate it! I took us about an hour to find another one, after attempting (and failing) to put her to bed without it.

Well, tonight I had enough of her tears and asked her if she wanted to go to bed early so she could have her paci. She agreed!

When Macy was born, I said to a friend... "Well, nobody wants their child to be born with Down Syndrome. Or any other disability for that matter. But, this is who Macy is and I still love her. I am doing what any other loving mother would do!"

But than this happened...

I met a woman about a month ago behind the American Airline desk at the airport. We will call her Jane. Well, Jane has a sister with Down Syndrome. We'll call her sister Sally.

Now let me clear something up...The staff at American Airlines here know us well, since Tommy flies so much. A few of the staff were aware that we had a new baby and that she was in the hospital. They also knew that she had Down Syndrome.

So when we went to check Tommy in for his flight in March, I was told that Jane wanted to talk to me and she was dying to meet little Macy. She just hugged her and loved her and held her... it was so sweet!

She talked to me about her sister Sally for quite some time; while I waited for Tommy's plane to take off. Sally is in her 40's, married to an autistic man and living a fulfilling life. Sally and Jane do lots of traveling together since Jane works for American Airlines. But the most amazing thing that Jane told me was...

Since she was little she has always wanted a child with Down Syndrome. She told me that her sister was just so special to her and going up with her made such an impact on her life. She was so sincere!

and then I see all these other mom's with blogs. Most of them had a child with Down Syndrome... then fell so madly in love, that they adopted another Down Syndrome child. AMAZING!

These people are inspiring!

These are the true hero's in the world!

and I Thank You all for continuing to open my eyes... so I can see the world with more color!

LIFE

it's busy

it's stressful

it's exhausting

but it is so good!!!

Reflections of my life...

Yeah, I was one of those

(Me with my sister marsha behind and cousin david in front)

very outgoing

talk talk talkative

and extremely nerdy kids!

It's cool. Now that I am older, I know how overrated popularity is!

Plus, I had fun :)

Don't ask where that coat came from, I have know idea who's is was. Seriously don't remember it!

May Scripture

"For with God nothing shall be impossible."

- Luke 1:37