Yesterday we decided to go to dinner and a movie as a family. As we stepped into the restaraunt, I noticed that Macy was limp. Like, more limp than normal. She kept passing out. Dead weight, flopping over my shoulder and arms. Her eyes were half closed, so we thought mabe she was asleep (yet she had just been awake in the car). I'd look at her and say, "Macy? Macy?" and she'd give me this half closed eye charming smile... which kind of scared me more in the moment... In my mind I am thinking..."Don't go to the light Macy, stay away from the FREAKING light!!!" I looked at Barry and he looked at me and a million words passed between us that instant! FEAR being the biggest! I'm thinking... maybe there is something wrong with her heart that we didn't know.
For some reason I though, Hmmm, she hates to have her bum changed. So, I decided to change her and see if she came around. If not, we were high tailing it out of there. But, she did. And I was so relieved!!
We still don't know what was going on. But, I was shaken.
I asked Barry, "What would I do if I lost one of my children?"
He said, "You would go on, you would have to."
I kept thinking all night,
"I'd have to go on... but how could I?"
"Who am I without them?"
"What would I do with my time?"
"What kind of life would I have without one of them?"
"How would I ever be able to smile again?"
I cannot imagine the strength it takes for so many to move on... I am awed by you!
I remember a quote by Kelle Hampton that I put on here recently.
"We don't have to be defined by motherhood because there's an intricate infrastructure of talents and dreams and passions that makes us women who are strong enough to stand alone. And yet, ask any mother and she'll probably tell you there's nothing more incredible she'd rather be defined by than the amazingness of her littles and her family."
I see this quote in a whole new light now. Though I believe it is true, I believe that a HUGE part of me IS that I am a Mother. I am strong enough to stand alone, because I know they have my back! I am not defined BY them, but they ARE the majority of the definition of ME!
8 comments:
Love that quote! I feel the same way. I love being a mom and am thankful every day for the opportunity.
I'm glad to hear Macy is okay, but how very scary for you. Nothing stresses me out more than if I think one of my kids is in danger.
Glad that things turned around. We'll continue to keep Macy in our prayers
I hope Macy is okay!! Precious Beautiful girl. We miss you guys so much!
Well said. And now I'm crying ... again.
Thanks for putting life's challenges in perspective for me. Thanks for the hug. It meant more than you know.
Scary!! SOOOO glad she is ok!!
wow scary. I can't even think or talk about stuff like that And that quote is so true. I am totally a mom. I was asking all the yw to write down talents hobbies interests and I was like I'm a mom what else. So I guess it's time I do a little something with myself.
Holy that is scary! Losing a child is my worst fear. I'm glad she is alright . Thanks for sharing that beautiful quote.
That is a really scary feeling. It is one of my greatest fears to loose a child. I am glad that she is ok and I hope that it was nothing.
Post a Comment