I'm smiling on the outside and saying I'm fine, we're good and Macy is doing well (which is true)... I am crying on the inside and my heart is breaking!
To say that my attempt at breast feeding today was frustrating would be an understatement!!!
A mix of sleepiness, floppiness, tongue in the way, being used to a bottle, overactive milk let down and in the end wet covered in breast milk and mad baby!
I know tomorrow is another day and the sun will shine... but, it is hard to see the end of this tunnel!
and as for today, I feel rejected by my daughter!
Kewpie
2 days ago
12 comments:
There aren't any words that I can offer to make you feel better but I wish that there were. This isn't an experience where people saying, "I'm praying for you", or "things will get better", or "my story is...", will fix any of this. But what I do know is that you are an incredible woman, an amazing mother, and a blessing to so many. Tomorrow is another day and I hope that it is better than today. Get some sleep!! Much Love!
My heart aches for you as I know a little bit about how you are feeling. When Justin was born (we didn't know he had Down syndrome until he was 6 months old - Long story...) he rejected me too. He was floppy, tired, and just plain not strong enough to suck. It broke my heart to see him struggle to gain weight because he had a hard time sucking. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You seem like such an amazing person! Tomorrow is another day... I pray it is a wonderful one!
If it makes you feel any better neither of my boys wanted anything to do with breastfeeding. I kept trying for months and it never worked out for either of them. Sometimes it happens. At the time I felt horrible about it. Now I just think its no biggy.
With that being Macy might have just been having an off day. Tomorrow may surprise you and she may do so well. Give her time.
I can't imagine how exhausted emotionally and physically you are. I really wish I lived closer so I could help out some way. I will continue to pray for you guys!
There may not be anything more frustrating or more heart breaking than breastfeeding issues with newborns. It is such an amazing bond but when it doesn't happen naturally it is easy to feel rejected. And it's not fair that it is always right after the baby is born and the postpartum hormones are at their highest. Don't give up. She's used to a bottle and it will take her some time to learn how to latch on, but that doesn't mean it won't happen, and if it doesn't happen, that's okay too. She will do great either way. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it's a great one! Sending lots of love your way.
xoxo
Oh I feel for you! My first baby was in the NICU and we had the whole breast feeding struggle!! Why nurse when you've been getting your food through a tube with no effort. It is so frustrating and a lot A LOT of work, and heart ache, I remebmer bawling when Trevor would feed her a bottle!! Keep with it, its worth it!
Don't give up...tomorrow is another day and although it is tough...it can happen, but doesn't always and that is ok too. Do you have a lactation specialist nearby that can give you some tips? Although I nursed my other two...I still seeked out some advice from our lactation specialist and sure enough after 1 week he was nursing better. My little guy was very slow in the beginning with the whole nursing thing, so we used a shield and that helped the first month...but because babies with Down syndrome tend to be a little slower with eating in the beginning and sleepy of course, it is tough...the pump became my BEST friend...I know it has to be tough, back and forth in the hospital, etc...hormones I'm sure are flying...hang in there girl...Wish I lived closer to come and meet your beautiful little girl...you seem like an amazing mother and things will work out...
I wish I was there to talk to you! love ya!
I'm hoping you are having a better day today. I know saying bye to Tommy is really hard for you. I love you so much.
I hope Macy learns to latch, but I want you to know that as someone who can't breastfeed her babies it is alright no matter what happens. There are things you can do during bottle feeding to feel that closeness. I am sorry you are struggling a bit. Love you.
I wasn't able to breastfeed my 4th baby due to his birth defect and I cried and morned. I started pumping an hour after his delivery with a day at a time goal. It's been 6 months now and even though I still loath my pump it gives my sweet baby the best milk possible. We've had to supplement with formula along the way but I am proud to say that he gets 90% mothers milk in a day. So from one pump Mom to another hang in there and remember we "express" our love.
Amanda
Oh honey....sending you lots of hugs. Please visit my friend Nicole at her blog http://all4gals.blogspot.com/ and e-mail her....I'm going to e-mail her right now to visit your blog and send you a message. She is such a beautiful soul and she has experience with nursing her little one with T21 that took lots of effort and patience, but she was successful after time.
Her name is Nicole, and she was the first person I met on my journey to Hollan.
All of my love, Tara Marie
Hi there! I'm Tara Marie's friend Nicole. You just totally took me back to those days! It IS so frustrating. The longest I had heard of anyone trying and then having sudden success was 3 months... so I gave myself that as my deadline in my head... and I should have known what my bright and spunky girl would have been like when she FINALLY started nursing at 13+ weeks. ha ha. She showed me from the beginning that she was going to do things her way! If you want to email me, I would love to call and chat if you want. I don't have any miracle answers...it just took time and effort, I did pump and exclusively give bm for that long, I guess I'm stubborn too!
I will pray for you and Macy just as I did for Tarenne and me almost 10 years ago. HUGS, Nicole
nicjoe@roadrunner.com
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