A Reality Check...

I have had some time tonight to think...

When I was pregnant with Tommy, I wasn't a nurse. There was a lot I didn't know about medicine. I read every pregnancy book I could find. I watched every "baby" show on TV. I worried about every possible complication you can think of! I was extremely careful about what I ate. You know, first time mom stuff. Good stuff! When I was told I had to have a c-section, I cried. I was scared, I wanted to be able to hold him right away (okay, and I was a little worried about my abdominal muscles). After he was born, he choked a lot on his phlegm, which is normal for a c-section baby. But, at the time... I was a freak! I kept ringing the nurse and getting really upset! I also worried about the smallest thing happening to him after I got him home!

Wow, what a little education has done for me!!!

When I was pregnant with Kyla... I had gone through nursing school. I don't think I opened a single pregnancy book or watched any shows about baby births. I didn't really worry too much about complications. I was going to try for a Vag birth (which has a 50% success rate after c-section). But, still... I knew the medical world is advanced these days and didn't worry too much about anything major going wrong. Barry was the first timer this time and HE was freaking out!We were successful in our vag birth and she was healthy from the start. I roomed with a new mom who was up all night, calling the nurse and worrying about a lot. At first she was REALLY annoying! But than I remembered that was me at one point. I finally pulled the curtain back and asked her if she wanted any help. I told her I was a nurse and I could help her get the baby to latch, sleep, or I could answer some of her questions. Pretty much she just needed someone there to tell her it was okay!

Well, tonight, while watching "A baby story" of all things :) I got to thinking. No matter how good medicine is these days, and no matter how much I know about the human body etc... NOTHING is ever "for sure." And I want "for sure!" I want to be able to take my baby home right away (usually after 36 weeks), I want to be able to breastfeed (so long term stays in the NICU wouldn't help that!), I want this little one to be healthy, pink and with plenty of meat on it's thighs! I am already forced to have an epidural due to my previous c-section... and I don't need any more complications than that! I am glad I had some time tonight to Clear My Head! 5 weeks... even 7 weeks isn't THAT long! At least not long enough to compromise this precious gift from Heavenly Father!

So, I think "Crazy Pregnant Lady" has gone away... for now. She may come back on Feb 15Th if baby isn't here. But, at that point... "for sure" is at it's peak!!! :)

Thanks for hearing me out!